Seraphim Bears (Blog)

Grandma's Pyjama's

So last night I was missing Mary... my Mum had given me a box about a month ago that had clothes in it that I might be interested in to cut them up and make them into a scrappy quilt. I finally had time to go through the box last night and in the box I found a pile of neatly folded Pyjamas that belonged to my grandmother. I took them out of the box and admired them, I love old cotton night gowns and as I was doing so I decided that I would not cut them... I would wear them. I carried them carefully upstairs and laid them out on the bed so I could choose just the right one to wear. Mary had been moved to a home as she had Alzheimer's and so each one had a name tag with her name in it. I like that... it makes me feel close to her. I finally decided on one and as I slipped it onto my head I was immediately immersed in her scent; It was as though her arms were wrapped around me. I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath and I saw her as clear as if she were standing right there in front of me.

When she passed away last summer I was given a very special gift from her... her wedding rings. I had admired them as a child and was sometimes allowed to carefully place them on my finger. I was always very respectful of what they stood for and never left the bedroom with them on. I would sing and stare at the sparkling diamonds and then carefully place them back on her crystal ring holder that sat on her dresser. I received the rings and had them sized to fit and was too afraid something might happen to them to send them off for an appraisal.

Today I was leaving the house to drive to another town to go birthday shopping for my husband and as I was leaving the house I thought that I should bring Mary with me. Having worn the Pyjama's last night had me feeling a bit melancholy today. I often wear her rings when I am attending a special event or when my Mum comes to visit as I see them as a sort of gateway for her to be here with me which allows us both to share in the life I am still living. So today on my way out of the mall that I was shopping in I thought I would take one more swing around just to make sure that I did not miss anything that would be a good gift for my husband. Low and behold there was an on site appraiser and I was able to watch him with her rings as he checked everything and created a certificate for me.

The funny thing is... when I got home I put the papers into the filing cabinet and put the rings back into their box and replaced them with my own wedding rings (that's the routine). I went and had a nice hot bath and then walked quietly into the bedroom to put on my grandma's pyjamas. Of all the things that were given to me, the rings, her sewing machine, her bear making supplies etc. it is her pyjama's that seem to give me the most comfort. Don't get me wrong, the other things all have a very special place in my heart and fill my life with joy every time I wear or use them but her pyjama's ... my grandma's pyjamas... make me feel close to her. I can close my eyes and take a deeeeeeeepppp breath in..... and there she is, laughing and smiling and singing!

I miss you Mary... thank you for staying close by my side and allowing me to share in YOU ...